you're the yellow bird that i've been waiting for.

i'd like to say that i appreciate those of you who still take your mom to the movies. or go shopping with her. or escort her to dinner. to those boys who still play catch with their little brothers or read stories to their sisters. who go fishing with their fathers or grandfathers. who take off their hats inside or at church. who take pictures with black and white film. and call them photographs. who still watch disney films, napoleon dynamite and write in journals. thank you, gentlemen, for you give me hope.

stop the moving and the painful rearranging

dear friend,
it seems as though i am 'withdrawing' myself from my friends. i don't understand why i would do such a thing. preparing for when i finally do have to go away? maybe. or perhaps i am just weird. i feel as though i should just be quiet and watch and listen, and not saying anything at all. and smile. just smile at everyone. i hope this doesn't make you think less of me. i'm still me; i haven't changed. maybe the difference is that everyone else has, or is in the process. and i'm not. maybe i've jumped on friendships with too much vivacity and scared you away. or maybe i tried too hard to impress you. i'm sorry if i did. i'm sorry for everything i've done that would drive you away. i love you all, truly i do. i think it'd be very nice to buy someone a star. incidentally, my books on vegetarian(ism) came in at the library.
with love,
arianna

dear friend,
last night i took a walk in the dark. the air was warm and smelled like good perfume and laundry detergent- you know, the kind your mom only buys when it is on sale because it is expensive but smells so good. it was like that. and i just thought. and today i was walking behind a middle-aged couple holding hands. and i wasn't sad. i was very happy for them. honest. and that's how it should be. i hope you don't think i'm weird for thinking this.

in time i want to be your best friend

one day if i am ever so patient
i will meet someone who shares
so many aspects with *You that
it would be impossible for me to
not fall in love with Jesus in
him. my one hope can only be that
i shall reflect You as perfectly
as he will.

to find that i could fall, and still Your grace surrounds, pursuing

to freely stumble down, and feel Your
hands
around my
heart.
and You were my
eyes
when i could not
see,
and You were my
voice
You
sing
through me, and
You
were my
strength
in weakness be,
holy.

car drives

driving in the wee hours of the morn, everything is so quiet and peaceful; the air is warm and it just feels right and you know you're coming home.
there was a hole in the sky
and through it i caught a glimpse of heaven.

all my longing lie open before You, Lord.

"I hid my dreams in the back of my mind--it was the only safe place in the house. From time to time I would get them out and play with them, not daring to reveal them to anyone else because they were so fragile and might get broken." -Erma Bombeck