on investing your love.

A friend of mine recently lamented? exclaimed? that I had "everything" I wanted. And even though I couldn't tell if it was unmet longing or cryptic relief on their part, I couldn't help but think that everything I have now could very well be all I ever need. Forever? Perhaps. It seems idealistic of me to confess that at 24 years old, I can't possibly imagine anything else that I need to be content. It is only a feeling you know if you have it, but also a feeling you know if you don't.
At church today, we prayed a lot of peace prayers, lighting little tealights around the unity candle, and I couldn't deny the overwhelming sense of peace that passes my ideas of self and others and the world. I also couldn't deny the realization that I have stopped comparing myself to others, or, at least, have not dwelt on it as strongly as before.
I think it's a freedom that's just as real as what most Americans are honoring today.

On not disappointing.

For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late. -Habakkuk

Brian and I are getting married! Tell all your friends.

on sleeping hiccup attacks.

So there's a little creature in my life that sleeps on his back, dawdles in the bushes, and dreams long and hard. And I've never had a tiny heart rely on my own so much for everything. Oh, wait, I mean EVERYTHING. And this wasn't exactly how I had planned things: jobless, carless, moneyless...and yet, I can't complain when I think of all the little things. That I haven't been faithful in. All the big things that have yet to happen. And all the big things that already have in spite of myself.
I guess what I'm trying to say is just this: I'm still here. Things are happening. She is faithful, even when I am not. He cannot deny Himself.

And, proof:

On big time commitments.

There's no ring, but this is a pretty damn good start.

I never promised you a rose garden...or anything else for that matter.

Pardon my vulgarity, but being unemployed sucks. I have become painfully aware of how much of my self-worth comes from being able to live independently. That being said, I have already finished one book, spinned my legs off (they are still here), and slept 8 hours almost every night. It's not the best, but it's definitely not the worst. And even though Starbucks won't hire me, I'm hopeful that just means someone else will. Right?

on not having many plans

so you can have a day mostly focused on this.

hanging with friends

You would think by now that I would have had time to settle in, find a job, do some writing, ride my bike to town, and all these things. But, in truth, I have only spent 3 nights in my new room, and punched my last timecard on Friday. I didn't really know what to do with myself, so I missed some flights and finally ended up at home. Home is a nice place to be when you don't really know what to do, and, indeed, it is a luxury to travel on a whim (somewhat) and know that someone will be waiting to pick me up on the other side.
In other news, my brother, sister-in-law, and niece are also visiting, so it has been nice to see them for a few days, too. It also makes me never want to have children under the age of 5. (I hope you can understand.) I have been mulling over the idea of adoption for when I am older and financially stable, so there's that. It might also throw all my relatives for a loop which could be a nice change of pace for the Nelson Clan.