Monday, August 1, 2005

i would like the spirit of a little child. they are so honest, and say what they mean and don`t try to hide their feelings.
why won`t i be like that?
herspaceholiday is amazing and you should all listen to them.
also, the internet is stupid so i`m leaving it for a while.
boys are confusing and i don`t understand any of you either.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Faith pours from your walls, drowning your calls
I`ve tried to hear, you`re not near
Remembering when I saw your face
Shining my way, pure timing
Now I`ve fallen in deep, slow silent sleep
It`s killing me, I`m dying

To put a little bit of sunshine in your life

Soleil all over you, warm sun pours over me
Soleil all over you
Warm sun

Now this slick fallen rift came like a gift
Your body moves ever nearer
And you will dry this tear
Now that we`re here, and grieve for me, not history
But now I`m dry of thoughts, wait for the rain
Then it`s replaced, sun setting

And suddenly you`re in love with everything

Soleil all over you, warm sun pours over me
Soleil all over you
Warm sun

Thursday, July 14, 2005

You`re a Miracle to Me

i am ever so blessed.

Always did it on my own then one day I realized, I was blind, nothing I could do on my own. Turn, we have found a way to see, look up... feel the Almighty. Take control as we gaze into Your eyes, we`re just the tool You use to bring this world to You. Oh, Lord, how we love You, with Your grace, take away the hurt and the bruises inside, reach down let Your glory reside. The cross carried for all of us, paint the image in my mind, so I will never think I am something, but nothing am I but You, You are something. Lord, You keep me alive, You give me rest at night. When there seems no way to find calmness in the storm You come and take me in Your arms and then the waves drown me no more. With You I`ll last this battle and many others through the ages Your name will reign forever... never to be replaced. In these trials I face, I pray You humble me. Humble me I want to be like You, Jesus, more and more like You. I was crucified on that day with Christ, nailing You there with sin, accepting You, I nailed my soul to the cross and now my life begins. This world so cold but Your love keeps me warm. My Father holds me in His nailed scarred hands which I put there. But for some reason He still loves me with all His heart. Even through I betray Him constantly, He always keeps His arms open waiting, till I give up my old ways. God, my father, You are the only One that can give me comfort. You touch my heart in such a way that all I can do is cry Your name.
Jesus Christ, I love You.
My heart aches for Your love.

Monday, July 11, 2005

For those under the clouds, staring up in awesome wonder, as tears come slowly down, I'm reaching up a needful hand. You are my eyes when I cannot see, and You are my voice, see, sing through me; You are my strength in weakness be. To find that I could fall, and still Your grace surrounds, pursuing- to freely stumble down, I feel your hands around my heart. You are my eyes when I cannot see, and You are my voice, see, sing through me; You are my strength in weakness be. You are my strength, my voice, my eyes-I lift up needful hands. You are my strength, my voice, my eyes-I lift up needful hands.

I need a very large measure of Your grace, Father. please.

Saturday, July 2, 2005

i`m sleepy. today was grood. even being stuck in traffic for ridiculous amounts of time wasn`t so bad. guys, there are things i think should be different but that doesn`t mean that this isn`t where God wants me right now. and i`m content with that. i`m not gonna try to be anybody but me. even if that does just happen to be a satisfied, but searching child of His.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

my parents are thoughtful times much. after a full day of shopping for things to improve our kitchen they brought home a bag of lovely goodies for their unusual vegetarian child. items included a six ounce bag of fancy snow peas, meat-free turkey slices, veggie dogs, and taco soy 'meat'. what am i that anyone would be mindful of me? nevertheless, i am grateful. i wish you all happiness, unicorns, and red slushies to last for at least the rest of this week.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

May 18
Careful Unreasonableness
"Behold the fowls of the air...Consider the lilies of the field." Matthew 6: 26,28
'Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they simply are! Think of the sea, the air, the sun, the stars and the moon-all these are, and what a ministration they exert. So often we mar God's designed influence through us by our self-conscious effort to be consisten and useful. Jesus says that there is only one way to develop spiritually, and that is by concentration on God. "Do not bother about being of use to others; believe on Me"- pay attention to the Source, and out of you will flow rivers of living water. We cannot get at the springs of our natural life by common sense, and Jesus is teaching that growth in spiritual life does not depend on our watching it, but on concentration on our Father in heaven. Our heavenly Father knows the circumstances we are in, and if we keep concentrated on Him we will grow spiritually as the lilies.
The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like the stars in heaven and the lilies in the field, perfectly simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold us.
If you want to be of use to God, get rightly related to Jesus Christ and He will make you of use unconsciously every minute you live.'
Thank you, Mr. Chambers, thank you.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

this week has been a bear.
i'm scared.
but my dad told me to take a leap of faith.
i like that idea.
and it was really inspirational to hear it coming from him.
my parents believe in me.
i feel that God is going to use me wherever i am.
but for this next year it will be there.
and this is how i choose to live, as if i'm jumping off a cliff; knowing that You'll save me; knowing that You'll save me.
i'm tired of being a lukewarm Christian. i want every part of my being to radiate Christ. i want His love to spread like fire, as it burns through me.
i am ready to fall.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Who was the guilty? Who has brought this upon Thee? Alas, my treason, Jesus, has undone Thee. I, Lord Jesus, I it was denied Thee; I crucified Thee.

Saturday, February 5, 2005

please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough.

I remember going to sleep that night, and i realized something. Something that I think is important. I realized that throughout the course of the evening, I wasn't happy about you and her breaking up. Not at all.
I never once thought that it would mean you might start liking me. All I cared about was the fact that you got really hurt. And I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love you. Because there was nothing to gain, and that didn't matter.

i finished the book tonight.
and it was good.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

"There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don't know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam's pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials. And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word "baby" in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet. Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel, Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something. "I feel infinite." And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I had just said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it's not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle seat of a pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain."

Friday, January 7, 2005

you're the yellow bird that i've been waiting for.

i'd like to say that i appreciate those of you who still take your mom to the movies. or go shopping with her. or escort her to dinner. to those boys who still play catch with their little brothers or read stories to their sisters. who go fishing with their fathers or grandfathers. who take off their hats inside or at church. who take pictures with black and white film. and call them photographs. who still watch disney films, napoleon dynamite and write in journals. thank you, gentlemen, for you give me hope.