kindness

I went to the zoo today. I found myself wanting to push small, bilingual children on swings, &spectate an afternoon-long soccer game. I found myself soaking strips of paper in paste, &expertly layering them over chicken wire. I found myself enjoying an opossum: for the first time in however long I have been alive. They only live up to four years, you know.
Tonight is good for being quiet, &studying stewardly, &living hopefully.

I find that tenderness often goes underestimated.

I am not the wisest of children, &I expect You to come in rushing wind, &loud sounds, and fantastic displays of light &noise &magnitude. I do not find it half so believeable when You come to me through other women, &sweet words, and flowers, and fellowship, & "you`re too tender"s, & not behaving as I ought. I say that I want closeness with the Lord, but search me and know that I am often found lying quietly in the evening, waiting for the lightning, when He is already gently raining love &trust over me.
&that`s all I got. In a feeble attempt to mimick Buchner, I stretched my hands out, &whispered "Please, Lord," over &over. And do you know what He told me? He told me that He loved me, &He told me to trust Him.
That`s all.

back through the park.

"It`s hard to say the right words without practice, I said & she whispered in my ear, Say them as many times as you like & we practiced late into the night."

in three words

soft/tender/bold

I like the weather today.

I like that I can walk across the lawn, &wave to the groundskeeper, even though I don`t really know him.
I like that I remembered that it was Wednesday, &made a waffle for breakfast, because that is what I say I do.
I like that Diana is starting a grass roots movement based on love.
I like that Geoffrey is reading these days, &that our exchange was almost cordial, if not friendly.
For I have missed that.

!

"I`m going to start setting realistic goals for myself. I`m going to skateboard every day for as long as the weather allows. I`m going to practice picking locks more regularly. I`m going to improve my French. I'm going to improve my Arabic. I`m going to learn to fight. I`m going to live in a decommissioned submarine with my friends. Good morning, Jeff. Ping. Are we out of toast? Ping. We`ll have to send someone into town. Ping. I`m going to start going out at night, dressed all in black, with my hood up. I`m going to stand in the shadows where a lot of people walk past. I`m going to encrypt my hard drive for fun. I`m going to encrypt the words, "You do good work" and I`m going to send it to every intelligence agency I can think of. "

movement &timing

Today stood on her own.
I simply walked along beside.

as bold as lions.

Wisdom wears care full shawls, &walks slowly, &speaks softly, even between eight and eleven.
&knows that it is good to hear words, and recognise whose voice it belongs to.
even when you are ambiguous.

september 3,2006.

Technically, mules (a cross between a donkey and horse) are unable to reproduce.
Technically, it appears I like to put limits on what You can do.
I hope to change that.