do not feed the birds.

As most of you probably didn't know, I lented the internet for a couple weeks. Now, some of you may be wondering why there are a few posts after the seventeenth of February up until now. So, I confess to that. But I admit they were for important reasons, reasons I wanted to share, and, in my defense, at least one of them was on a Sunday (which I heard from someone is the only day it's okay to indulge your folly). I'm sure you're expecting me to tell you about all the incredible insights I gained from my world wide web fast. I will. Just not yet. It could be a combination of not quite knowing if I learned anything, or knowing that nothing I learned was all that incredible. (Which isn't to say I didn't learn any thing unbelievable, but maybe I'm challenging my own definition of the word. Who knows?)
But I do know that perhaps some of you have been faithfully waiting for my words of wisdom on money. Which, I promise, are coming soon.
In other news, I have started (reading) a new book. I also have some sort of ideas as to what could happen in 2011.
So, there's that.

IX.

when i saw you for the better part of the day, the sun was all ready beginning to rest.
but you had so many things to do while she was awake,
i didn`t mind. &i still don`t!
you are afraid i will get lost in your lack of difference,
of beach town alfredos,
&home town desserts,
of breaking mountain passes,
&seeing a life more hope-filled than you or I?
oh, but i have grown to love those vagabondish wanderings
in the constancy of your heart,
&good intentions foiled,
swiss army knives forgotten,
&baby bobcats bounding across our paths!

kindness

I went to the zoo today. I found myself wanting to push small, bilingual children on swings, &spectate an afternoon-long soccer game. I found myself soaking strips of paper in paste, &expertly layering them over chicken wire. I found myself enjoying an opossum: for the first time in however long I have been alive. They only live up to four years, you know.
Tonight is good for being quiet, &studying stewardly, &living hopefully.

dear friend,
last night i took a walk in the dark. the air was warm and smelled like good perfume and laundry detergent- you know, the kind your mom only buys when it is on sale because it is expensive but smells so good. it was like that. and i just thought. and today i was walking behind a middle-aged couple holding hands. and i wasn't sad. i was very happy for them. honest. and that's how it should be. i hope you don't think i'm weird for thinking this.