Compassion, by Henri M. Nouwen
this book is changing me.

"Simply being with someone is difficult because it asks of us that we share in the other`s vulnerability, enter with him or her into the experience of weakness and powerlessness, become part of uncertainty, and give up control and self-determination. And still, whenever this happens, new strength and new hope is being born."

&also,

"When we take a critical look at ourselves, we have to recognize that competition, not compassion, is our main motivation in life. This all-pervasive competition, which reaches into the smallest corners of our relationships, prevents us from entering into full solidarity with each other, and stands in the way of our being compassionate. Being compassionate would require giving up dividing lines and relinquishing differences and distinctions. A divine compassion is a compassion without the slightest tinge of competition."

nina blessed me in a letter. (:

do you have a story to tell? [i`ll listen]

is He not enough for me? are You not enough, my sweet Jesus?
who am i. who am i. who am i. to speak a word of doubt outloud? i am a disgrace to Your name. when You are the one Who has provided me everthing. nay, more than everything i could ever possibly desire. it has already been taken care of.
and yet,
i still doubt. i am not joyful & content. i am restless, and my mind is spilling over with meaningless thoughts. i get distracted and frustrated. the secret, inner desires of my heart are growing cold.
this is my call to life.