on quiet confidence

I know people think I really like animals. And I do, for the most part. But it's not because I think they "get me" better than humans, even though I think they can be a lot more honest than we are. For instance, I have never met a skunk that liked me. Mostly, because I have never met a skunk in general, and I think that is an obvious way of realizing if any creature is interested in getting to know you. Several dogs (and even cats) have willingly greeted me and I think they were okay with just a pat or a good scratch behind the ears.
I took one of the shelters dogs out to the park the other day and she seemed to be honestly excited about it. And I know animals don't feel or think or act the same way we do, but I'll be damned if that dog wasn't terribly happy to be there. I'm sure it could have been with anyone, but it made me feel really good that she was rolling around in the grass and snapping her jaws and pawing the air like she did this every weekend.
And sometimes I just wonder what it would be like if we could express our joy as openly as they do. If it would be easier to love each other because we knew what we were getting ourselves into, and we knew that it would be a walk in the park.
I guess there's nothing really Biblical about that, but it is something to think about.

on some thing a long time ago.

"For God is not a God of confusion but of peace." -14:33.

on not having any immediate plans.

i have calculated the approximate time it
takes for me to accomplish each day's needs.
but to be quite honest with the world,
i haven`t thought much further than the edge of my nose.

&i have heard that it is okay to live like this:
wearing socks a little too big, taking steps small & just right,
hours of darkness and bright to think about tomorrows.
still, there is a hope on that ever-growing horizon.

we breathe in each morning, exhaling the night.
&oh, i have so much to learn!
but, take heart--with each half-eaten moon rise, each light we save:
there is plenty of time.

away he goes.

i`m still here.
miss you.
love you.

"i'm gonna float up in the ceiling;
i built a levee of the stars,
and in my field of tired horses
i built a freeway through this farce.

well, if i ever get that slumber
i`ll be that mole deep in the ground,
&i won`t be found."
-k.m.

any thing, really.

we forget what it means: lingering under the lamplight, anxious to get home,
holding hands as cold and limp as a freshly caught bullfrog.
saying words like, "oh, remember when?" & "why can`t it be like that?"
well, i am sorry if I had encouraged you to feel any less beautiful, or handsome, or creative, or worthy.
some things ought to be said about that.

so this is the true story:
one Thanksgiving all seven of us
ate dinner at a Waffle House
&spent the rest of our vacation in a cabin in the Alabaman woods.

the end.

okay,

the long trail.

i'm having difficulty writing any thing of value as of late.
i suppose it is a good thing, though.
it gives me hours, days, &weeks to think, i suppose.
i do not feel very fruit-full, nor do i behave wisely.

someone just give me a pumpkin to carve all ready.

but you can reach me.

A time of contrast would be previous ¤t attitudes towards humans.
The good, uncommon reality is that there are those apart from your very self who are certainly capable of keeping confidence and trust.
Now, if you think, like me, those people are few and far between, well, perhaps you are right.
But may be there are more than you once thought.
&may be you are not quite the man or woman or child you are going to be.

Fridays are good for loafing.

Lord, I know not what to ask of You.
You alone know what my true needs are.
You love me more than I myself know how to love.
Help me to see my real needs, which may be hidden from me.
I dare not ask for either a cross or a consolation.
I can only wait upon You; my heart is open to You.
Visit and help me in Your steadfast love.
Strike me and heal me; cast me down and raise me up.
I worship in silence Your holy will.
I offer myself to You as a living sacrifice.
I put all my trust in You.
I have no other desire than to fulfill your will.
Teach me to Pray. Pray Yourself in me.
Amen.
-Metropolitan of Philaret of Moscow

who, with quiet confidence,

I am a great cynic, & a great hoper.
I live slightly unrealistically.
I do not mind.

I like the weather today.

I like that I can walk across the lawn, &wave to the groundskeeper, even though I don`t really know him.
I like that I remembered that it was Wednesday, &made a waffle for breakfast, because that is what I say I do.
I like that Diana is starting a grass roots movement based on love.
I like that Geoffrey is reading these days, &that our exchange was almost cordial, if not friendly.
For I have missed that.

as bold as lions.

Wisdom wears care full shawls, &walks slowly, &speaks softly, even between eight and eleven.
&knows that it is good to hear words, and recognise whose voice it belongs to.
even when you are ambiguous.