a pause of thought

"I looked for that which is not, nor can be, and hope deferred made my heart sick in truth: but years must pass before a hope of youth is resigned utterly. I watched and waited with a steadfast will: and though the object seemed to flee away that i so longed for, ever day by day I watched and waited still. Sometimes I said: This thing shall be no more; my expectation wearies and shall cease; I will resign it now and be at peace: yet never gave it o'er. Sometimes I said: it is an empty name I long for; to a name why should i give the peace of all the days I have to live? --yet gave it all the same. Alas, thou foolish one! alike unfit for healthy joy and salutary pain: thou knowest the chase useless, and again turnest to follow it." -Christina Rossetti