Monday, June 8, 2015

The Unexamined Life

It has been so warm outside today.  I walk my dog less than a mile and start to feel the beads of sweat forming on the skin above my heart, absorbed into my cotton shirt before I have a chance to awkwardly shoo them away.

I have noticed almost every piece of trash between Magnolia and Chandler (to my disappointment, so has the dog), the abandoned repair shops, the gigantic self storage warehouse, the Big Lots across the everything is ugly to me.

This is my life.  I just started to worry that maybe I am living an unexamined one.  I do not want to wander mindlessly down these littered streets and come up empty when I unlock the security gate at the entrance to our modest apartment.

I treated myself to some flowers at the local farmers market yesterday.  They're in a glass on our kitchen/work table and, believe me, they are lovely.  I'm not going to say that I want to be like the flowers, that I never want to worry about how I look or what I'll wear...but I do want to be lovely.

Most days I take a line from the Princess Diaries, stare at my reflection, think "This is as good as it gets," breathe in a good-natured sigh and pour some grapefruit juice for my early morning commute.

Because, I suppose, "good" can be enough.

For now.

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