Tuesday, November 4, 2014

On Being Quick to Judge but Possibly Changing That

I am a ragamuffin.  I say this with humility, conviction and a slight dose of sarcasm.  I am proud of this self-diagnosis, proud of being disheveled, a little smug about being "not quite right." I like to think that I can relate to people, because I am not better than or trying to make anyone that way, either.

However (isn't there always one of these?), I find myself observing others whether in person or the online realm and making very quick and most likely incorrect assumptions about them.  Why do I do this?  Perhaps it is because sometimes I'm not so proud of being "not quite right."  Maybe I'm just tired or lonely or intentionally salty.  Maybe I want to be just like them, but don't feel that it's in line with being "me" and this is confusing and upsetting and a bit weird to process.  But this doesn't mean that it's okay or something I'm particularly proud of.  I guess it's just something I'm acknowledging, putting out into the universe and in some way being held accountable for feeling feelings and making incorrect assumptions.

Of all the things I don't know, what I do know is this: if I'm given the option to be right or to be kind (and most of the time there are always options), I want to choose kind.  Even if it means I get duped, taken advantage of or hurt.  Even if it means that people see me as a sitting duck and treat me accordingly. I want you to always have the benefit of the doubt.  I don't want to assume things about the charismatic speaker, or well-dressed ad rep (what is that even?) simply because I don't know what else to think.  I don't want to make judgments based on fear or anger or hurt.  I want you to have a chance to stand on your own too, not having to prove anything and maybe start figuring out what to do with the truest version of yourself.  (That's actually a lot less fluffy than it sounds.)

I assure you I am trying to do the same.